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April 23, 2021

Common Self-Love Obstacles People Face

When you are trying to practice self-love, you’re going to run into a few obstacles along the way. These can really derail your progress if you aren’t prepared. By being aware of the common obstacles, you can take steps to prevent them. So, let’s look at some of the most common obstacles people face when trying to practice more self-love.

You aren’t surrounded by positive, healthy relationships

A major obstacle to self-love is toxic people. If you are surrounded by people who drain your energy and have a negative outlook, you’re going to struggle to practice self-love. 

Surround yourself with positive, healthy relationships. While all relationships go through hard times, for the most part, they should lift you up and make you feel positive about yourself. So, if you have relationships that cause you more misery than happiness, now is the time to take a step back and focusing on healthier, happier relationships. After all, it’s that much harder love yourself if you are surrounded by people who make you feel bad.

Feelings of guilt and selfishness

Another big barrier to practicing self-love is feelings of guilt and selfishness. It is common to feel like self-love is selfish. This can lead to feelings of guilt when you attempt to focus more on yourself.

You need to understand the importance of self-love. It isn’t just a luxury, it’s a necessity for your health and wellbeing. It certainly isn’t selfish so you absolutely shouldn’t feel guilty for trying to love yourself more. 

Needing to be perfect

Perfectionism is a major obstacle to self-love. While a little perfectionism can be a good thing, especially in business, it can also lead to disappointment, frustration, and unhappiness. 

When you feel like everything must be perfect, you aren’t going to be happy when you fall short. So, try and let go of your need to be perfect. Understand what causes your perfectionism and identify your triggers. Remember, nobody is perfect, not even you!

Not understanding how to love yourself

Finally, another barrier to finding self-live is not understanding how to love yourself. Many people don’t fully understand what self-love means. They mistakenly think it is about doing things you want to do, rather than what you need.

Self-love isn’t just about treating yourself; it is about making sure you are fulfilling your needs. For example, if you want to lose weight, indulging in junk food isn’t going to help, even though it might be bringing temporary joy. Instead, a healthier diet and exercise routine is considered a form of self-love as it helps you to become healthier and fulfills the body’s needs.

These are just some of the common obstacles to self-love you need to be aware of. By being aware, you’ll be able to figure out how to overcome them if they do arise. Finding people you trust and who build you up is a big part of being able to practice self-love. However, don’t forget to be your own personal cheerleader too. 


Part of self-love is standing up for your boundaries and needs. If you are a push-over, then you are going to struggle with people taking advantage of you.

Want to find out if you are a pushover? Take this 2-minute quiz to find out!

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Dr. Monique Belton


Executive Coach and Clinical Psychologist, Monique Belton, Ph.D. helps empower people to create their dreams.

Dr. Monique Belton

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