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May 14, 2021

5 Ways to Address Inner Conflict

Is inner conflict holding you back from having the relationship you want?

When we struggle with inner conflict, it is basically a battle between our emotions and thoughts. If a situation doesn’t turn out how we expected, it can release feelings of anger, stress, fear, and frustration. 

There are many different types of inner conflict. You may know you need to end a relationship, but you keep talking yourself out of it. You may know you need to adopt a healthier diet but eating the foods you love is the only thing that gives you pleasure right now. Whatever the inner conflict is, it could be holding you back from a happy, healthy life. Discover 5 ways to address inner conflicts to be happier and more fulfilled.

1. Identify and confront inner conflicts

You’re going to find it hard to address your inner conflict if you aren’t fully aware of it. However, identifying and being aware of inner conflict isn’t always easy. After all, it is much easier to ignore confrontation and the things that make us uncomfortable. 

The trouble is, when you ignore your inner conflicts, they simply get worse over time. So, start by writing down what you want and the things that are holding you back. Then, delve into your inner conflict and try and understand where it comes from. For example, is it coming from a place of fear or comfort? Often, we stay stuck in routines because it is our mind’s way of protecting us. 

2. Balance your rationale and emotions

To address inner conflict, you need to be able to balance rationale and emotion. If you tend to focus more on your emotional needs and desires, your rational thinking will be compromised. Similarly, if you were to focus only on being rational, your emotional needs would suffer. To make the best choices, learn how to balance reasons and emotions.

3. Avoid making rash decisions

When you are going through an emotional time, be sure not to make any rash decisions. Think about what is best for you, without forgetting about the impact your decision will have on others. 

It’s easy to make rash decisions when you are dealing with inner conflict. However, staying calm and really thinking things through is going to lead to the best decisions.

This is especially true if you have inner conflict about a relationship. Make a written plan or at least a decision tree to help guide you when you’re faced with a hard situation.

4. Practice meditation

Meditation is a great way to address inner conflict. It gives you the peace and mental clarity to reflect on your life and the things you need to change. It may take a while to get used to it, but you’ll find great beginner videos online to help.

5. Think about what you really want

What is it you really want? Often our inner conflict comes from not doing the things we desire. If you are trying to please everyone else, you are only going to end up feeling miserable. So, if you feel like you aren’t being true to yourself, take a step back. Think about what you truly want and then focus your energy on that. 

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If you find you struggle with far more inner conflict than seems normal, you might be a pushover. Being a pushover invites conflict because it allows those around you to determine what you think, feel, and do at any given moment instead of living your own truth. If you think you might be a pushover, take the “Are you a pushover? Quiz” to find out. 

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Dr. Monique Belton


Executive Coach and Clinical Psychologist, Monique Belton, Ph.D. helps empower people to create their dreams.

Dr. Monique Belton

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